We all have heard the story of the Teddy Hall Killer. It’s a scary one to say the least. A former student, a vivacious 20-year-old girl, murdered 35 students with a small ax. No one really knows why she did it, certainly no one expected her to be a killer, but it’s a story they tell the Freshers every year during orientation. Most of her victims were guys, including one rather important older gentleman, and none of them stood a chance against her batting eyelashes and innocent head tilt while she sweetly asked them if she could kill them. Not a single one refused her, but none of them really knew what she was planning on doing to them. Or at least, we don’t think so. After all, there were no survivors.
Only one question remains…how many of her victims woke up yesterday morning with the word “DEAD” written on them in black sharpie and no idea how it got there?
Yup, I hereby admit to being the Teddy Hall Killer at our matriculation bop of Saturday night. Inspired by my antics with tie theft at the Back to School bop, a guy dressed up as Death and I decided to “kill and collect” as many people as possible by writing on them and taking a picture. I ended up killing Osama bin Laden, two devils, a lot of Romans, some miners, Steve Jobs three times (sorry Apple employees), and even St. Edmund. Oh and let’s not forget the President of the Teddy Hall Alumni Association who was really drunk for a 45-year-old man.
It was an awesomely fun night and I met a lot of people who won’t remember me next time they see me, but I’ll remember them because the Sharpie still hasn’t worn off and soap is of no help 🙂