Tag Archive | Christmas

The Great Edzant Christmas Caper

The scene: Christmas day at the Edzant Residence just outside of Los Angeles, California. Approximately 4 pm. Presents have all been opened; wrapping paper and ribbon is strewn across the living room floor. Everyone is settling down for a few minutes rest before moving into the other room for dessert.

The characters: The Edzant Family

Barry, the head of the main household, alias Dad, sitting at the dining room table

Patti, Barry’s wife, alias Mom, curled up on the carpet with the furriest animal you will ever see

Brinkley, the aforementioned furry animal, 15 month of golden retriever, just consumed an entire ball of wrapping paper

Kevin, Barry’s son, 22, resident sarcasm king, sitting on the couch opening up his new headphones

Jenna, Barry’s daughter and the writer of this mystery, 20, also sitting on the couch, plotting her escape to another room of the house after playing Elf and disseminating Christmas gifts for the last two hours, in need of a nap

Pamela, the aunt, alias Auntie Pam, sitting around the coffee table

Linda, the grandmother, additional near the coffee table

The mystery: found in the bathroom, a slightly damp snowman patterned hand towel left over an open flame from the scented candle next to the sink, the toilet seat raised and covered in soot

The case: Jenna was exonerated from committing the act because it was corroborated that she never left the living room during the afternoon until she went to the bathroom and discovered the towel over the fire. She naturally assumed it had been her brother Kevin because he had been the last one to use the bathroom, but upon initiating her typically sarcastic response, she remember that Kevin could not possibly have tossed the towel over the candle because he doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. Therefore the two children of the family were ruled out as suspects. Patti was never considered as a serious suspect. Not only had she also been in the room for the entirety of Christmas present unwrapping, but it was also simply a widely known fact that Patti doesn’t toss towels around and just wouldn’t have done something like what the mystery entailed. Barry spent the next few hours mildly interrogating the remaining family members trying to get to the bottom of the situation, suggesting that he was not the culprit either.

The remaining questions: Who was the party responsible for nearly setting the towel on fire? Why did the towel not actually catch on fire? (Though that part is assumed as solved by Patti’s suggestion that the towel was flame retardant.) Why was the toilet seat covered in soot? Why doesn’t Kevin wash his hands after using the restroom? Only three suspects remain under consideration–the dog, the aunt, and the grandmother. But no motive, no further evidence, no confession, no conviction, and thus all we are left with is the open case of

THE GREAT EDZANT CHRISTMAS CAPER OF 2011

Anyone with information about this crime is invited to come forward as soon as possible. Nature and amount of reward to be given is dependent on the usefulness of information and how much Jenna likes you.

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Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas

And my mom and I continued our search for the perfect pie crust. Our recipe is quite solid, always a great flavor, but we can never seem to make it roll out without completely falling apart. Every time we make our traditional apple pie, we try a new method and pray to the pie-crust gods that maybe, just maybe, this time our pie crust will retain it’s wonderful buttery flavor and flaky texture without disintegrating and needing to be patched together again as we cover the pie. Pie crusts should not be Humpty-Dumpty!

And this time, it wasn’t! Not only did our pie crust come out beautifully, I also had fun using little pie crust cutouts to make a winter scene of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer flying over a forest in a snowfall. Literally. I made that on a pie. It may have been a little overboard especially since pies get eaten so my artwork wouldn’t last that long anyway, but it’s Christmas Eve Eve, and we all go a little overboard every once in a while.

Because of a wonderfully fair but inconvenient concept known as joint custody, we had my mom’s side of the family over for holiday celebrations two days before Christmas so that my little Emily could be here too. As such, it’s a Friday, meaning Dad is off at work and for the second year in a row getting the holidays together fell on my mom’s and my shoulders. Having done the holidays for the last 30 some odd years, Mom has kind of begun to “pass the oven” on to me. Last year I did the holidays alone because my mom had thrown her back out; this year I took the lead again but I had my sous-chef by my side for most of it. Good thing too, because making the turkey would’ve completely grossed me out so she did that. But the cooking and the cleaning and the making/wrapping the final gifts were finished just in time between the two of us. Except for that darn turkey which as always pushed dinner back an hour.

And whoa that last hour was crazy as all the turkey stuff and the gravy and the sides and things had to be finished with only two ovens and a stove. Talk about coordination! Again though, all dishes were completed at the same time and the dinner was enjoyed by all. Except Brinkley because he had to be outside. Not making the mistake of letting a dog inside with a turkey carcass on the counter again. That was a memorable Thanksgiving.

The two little girls were absolutely the cutest things of the night. Andrea (16 months old) cried any time I so much as looked at her, but at least Emily (7 years) was chatting with me and giving me huge hugs, though anything other than crying would’ve made me feel like a million bucks. She is just a love-muffin. It was pretty funny when I was cooking, wearing a conservative dress that almost looked like something out of the 50s and heels, occasionally a pink apron, and juggling cooking, being a hostess, and talking with a child…my new nickname became Donna Reed! (Which, side note, can you believe Kevin had no idea who that was?!) Of course I don’t think Donna Reed would be talking about wines, cell phone technology, the prospect of alien life and the future of our space program, or the medicine behind repairing a torn ACL on a dog’s leg. Times change just a bit.

I think everyone enjoyed themselves; I know I certainly did, despite how much work it was. And that’s really the point isn’t it? Enjoy your time with your family, end up with way too many leftovers, share laughs and the year’s adventures, and snap pictures of the excitement on little children’s faces when they open up their presents. Oh, and watch a dog attempt to open a present of his own.

So Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

A Fortnight in SCV

Hmm…how many posts have I missed in the last two weeks? No idea, but hopefully this can reassure everyone that, yes, I’m alive and kicking in my hometown still. Ok yeah probably no one was really worried about that, but just in case that one random person was freaking out because I haven’t updated anyone in two weeks can now rest easy.

It has been one of the most insane winter breaks I think I have ever had. I can’t think of a single day where I haven’t been running around like a headless chicken with errands. Literally two weeks worth of errands! I was more relaxed during term at Oxford! I have gotten in a little bit of socializing though. I saw my dear friend Amy for an awesome and long catch-up session over dinner (with my favorite waiter at BJs!!!), took my not-so-much-a-baby-anymore baby cousin to see Arthur Christmas, went to afternoon tea that really can’t compare to England’s teas, and had fun last night at my dad’s office’s Christmas dinner. But other than maybe those four things, my days have been filled with Christmas shopping, Christmas baking, Christmas wrapping, Christmas decorating, Christmas cards, and Christmas stressing.

Hard at work on those millions of batches!

Brinkley gets in on the action

Now I know what it feels like to be a mom during the holidays. Though I will say, based on the general response to my obscene amount of cookie batches that I’ve baked, I’m going to be a great housewife someday haha. As long as I get my career too 😉

But seriously, I make some damn good cookies.

Christmas cookie samplers for Christmas presents this year! That was a lot of baking